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February 08 2018

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sapphirefiber:

tygermama:

morivan:

You know that type of laughter that starts off as a small chuckle but kinda builds up inside your throat, eventually mounting into a full blown, bent over yourself, holding your stomach as you guffaw uproariously?

Yeeeep.

this should be a sculpture about the human condition entitled ‘Unbridled Optimism Meets An Uncaring Universe’

There are photos that tell a story, then there are photos that tell a story.

Reposted byastrophysicistdancingwithaghostdivipiehuscymenvertheerkotfica

January 01 2018

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zsnes:

82117:

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

image

fvace:

just-shower-thoughts:

You say jizz every time you say oranges.

December 22 2017

four-eyes-bitch-dragon:

four-eyes-bitch-dragon:

four-eyes-bitch-dragon:

four-eyes-bitch-dragon:

Happy Crimmus!

It’s Crismn!

Merry Crisis!

Merry Chrysler!

ayellowbirds:

maya-kitajima:

“What if raccoons figured out the secret to starting fires?” is the scariest hypothetical question my dad has ever posed

that’s the distinction between goblins and raccoons

hoebutmadefashion:

hoebutmadefashion:

my school was full off hot ass people tbh

i was homeschooled

image

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joshpeck:

who is this imposter where is Tuesday dog

December 21 2017

darlingduckie7:

Does anyone else ever google the meaning of a word just to double check that they’ve used it correctly, or is it just me, hanging out over here with my English degree?

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benepla:

c-bassmeow:

This is real

bobavader:

Rey and kylo are like. Theyre like. Okay now this post is going to be for my fellow nerd lesbians but like. Have you ever been into like a niche nerdy thing like an anime or videogame or some shit and the only other person who likes it in your school or whatever is this weirdo angry greaseboy?? And you can like kind of get along JUST talking about The Thing and like if you have a conversation about literally anything else you cant stand it cuz hes just that bad. and he takes the fact that you also know what anime is as a sign that youre into him??? Thats kylo ren to me

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yourcodenameis-michael:

character development

shapeshiftinterest:

agender-plant:

sharingwritingprompts:

A huge and ancient dragon loses her clutch of eggs.  She decides to adopt an office building full of employees as her children.  But to keep them safe, she doesn’t want to let any of them leave.

“Mighty Opiess, Destroyer of Kingdoms, pl-”

“Mom.”

“Uhh…..right. Mom. Um, so I have to get back home. I’ve got three kids who need dinner and I really think I should..go….back………why are you crying?”

Grandbabies!!

her business children earn money and she is very proud of all of them

Rarest Earth Theory Discovered:

oddbagel:

COP EARTH

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

My method of getting kids not to swear at camp was just to appeal to their sense of fairness.

Child: “Fuck!”

Me: “Hey! I’m not allowed to swear in front of you guys. It’s not fair if you swear in front of me, is it?”

Child: “I guess not… sorry…”

I literally always want to swear.

snyggvur:

setheverman:

setheverman:

if you ask any swedish person “what happens on christmas at 3 pm?” they will know….. donald duck.

imageimage

you think i’m lying???????? you think i’m making jokes??????

Yup

Fat people have always existed. Fat people will always exist. It's ok to be fat.

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hospitalplant:

i think about this every time i use tinder

targuzzler:

jerseydevilslesbianlover:

targuzzler:

this dude looks like what tommy wiseau thinks he looks like

Awfully bold of you to claim that you or any other human being can even begin to understand what’s going on in Tommy wiseaus head

you know what, thats fair

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